Heart of Steel
by inizhay
Summary: After having his heart broken, Lucy is determined to help Gajeel get over it by taking him on a job. Lily's all for it, but the slayer is oblivious to her designs. When things go south, Gajeel has to face what she really means to him beyond their dark history.
1. I Want You to Want Me

**Chapter 1**

 **I Want You to Want Me**

 _"Nothing quite takes the taste out of peanut butter like unrequited love."_

 _-Charlie Brown_

* * *

Heartbreak was not an emotion that the iron dragon slayer was used to feeling. But as he watched his blue-haired best friend sucking face at the bar with the card mage, he couldn't deny that the tight pincer feeling in his chest was definitely a broken heart. He'd known that Juvia wasn't really in love with Gray. He'd been waiting for her to realize that for a while now, and he was excited that she was finally coming to her senses.

But just as he couldn't deny the current ache in his chest, he also couldn't deny that he'd brought this on himself. He should have told her how he felt. He'd been her shoulder to cry on, her confidante, her oldest friend. He thought she would understand; he thought she would turn to him with the same adoration she showered on the ice mage for months when she finally realized that it wasn't love after all.

Instead, Cana was the one who'd finally convinced Juvia that she'd never really loved Gray.

Gajeel tried to keep his gaze focused on the plate of iron scraps in front of him. Levy sat beside him reading, but she kept glancing at him with a small worried frown. The bookworm was the only one who knew about his infatuation with the water mage. For a while, Levy had tried to keep her distance from the slayer in case Juvia, like the rest of the guild, thought there was something more than friendship between her and the gruff slayer, despite Levy having a boyfriend. Now, she could be there for him as a friend, but she also knew that her own boyfriend would eventually get jealous if she stayed with Gajeel too often.

Levy frowned and glanced around the room. What her friend needed was something or someone to take his mind off of Juvia's new paramour. She was considering and discarding options rapidly when the doors of the guild flew open to reveal her pink-haired boyfriend trailing meekly behind a very pissed off blonde.

"Luce, I said I was sorry," Natsu whined.

"I don't want to hear it, Natsu!" Lucy yelled. She stalked to the bar and hopped onto a stool, but the celestial mage had to immediately hop back up again as the seat rubbed against her singed bottom. She would have to have Wendy take a look at it later. For now, she just wanted a smoothie, preferably with Cana levels of rum. Lucy leaned heavily on the bar and wished that she could sit down comfortably.

"But, Luce—"

Whatever Natsu was going to say was silenced by a swift kick to the gut that sent him crashing into the far wall. He landed on the ground with a thud next to his girlfriend. Levy sighed. She considered helping him up, but she also assumed that she would be siding with Lucy on this one even though Levy had no idea just what the flaming idiot she loved had done to his best friend.

Levy's attention was diverted from the sorry heap of pink hair and bruised limbs by a small chuckle on her other side. She glanced at Gajeel, who had once again ducked his head to focus on his metal meal. She thought she saw the hint of a smirk, though.

Ignoring, her groaning boyfriend, Levy picked up her book and made her way to the bar.

"So what'd he do this time?" Levy asked as she took the seat that Lucy had previously attempted to sit on.

"Mrrrghghgh!" was Lucy's garbled reply as she banged her head on the counter.

"Ah, yes, I see, that does sound terrible," Levy said with a laugh. Lucy looked up and tried to glare at the blue-haired girl, but she really could never be mad at Levy, so the glare turned into a grin. Of course the grin then turned into a grimace as she moved her arm and a singed bit of skin made contact with the countertop.

"Nothing Wendy can't help with," Lucy said. "The idiot needs to practice his damn aim, though."

"How are you still wearing clothes?" Levy asked.

"I had Virgo make me some special fire-proof clothing for my jobs with Natsu. Unfortunately, it protects the clothing, but not my actual skin. I should probably talk to her about that." Lucy ordered a heavily alcoholic smoothie from Mira before turning back to the bookworm. "So, did I miss anything while we were gone?"

"Well…" Levy glanced at the other end of the bar where Juvia and Cana were back to playing tonsil hockey. She was beginning to wonder if they were just trying to make the pervy men in the guild die from blood loss at this point. Lucy followed her friend's gaze, and her eyes widened fractionally.

"My, that is new," Lucy murmured. She looked around the guildhall with apparent boredom, but she was really seeking out the dark far corner where a large metal-studded figure always sat. As she surreptitiously studied the gloomy man, Wendy came up to her.

"Sorry, Lucy, I just got back from a job with Erza and Gray. Happy mentioned you needed some help."

"Oh, Wendy, you beautiful, beautiful little goddess. I've got a few burns. Think you can help?"

"No problem, where?"

Lucy pointed at her ass. Wendy didn't bat an eye but just raised her hands and began healing the burns while Mira placed Lucy's drink on the bar. Sweet relief flooded the blonde's system from both the healing magic and the slight burn of the rum buried beneath the sweetness of strawberries. She thanked the tiny dragon slayer profusely before hugging her tightly and finally sinking onto a barstool with a sigh of supreme satisfaction.

"I think I need a Natsu-break," Lucy said. She lifted a suggestive eyebrow at Levy. "Take him off my hands for a week or two?"

Levy blushed slightly, but she managed a small grin. Natsu had finally picked himself up off of the floor and was sufficiently recovered to begin picking a fight with Gray when he realized that the ice mage had returned.

"I do still need rent money, though," Lucy said pensively. She tapped her chin thoughtfully. "I guess I'll just have to see what's available on the board that I could take solo."

"You could always partner up with somebody else temporarily," Levy said in her best impression of total nonchalance.

"An interesting notion," Lucy said as she tried to stifle a giggle. "But who?"

Levy's gaze drifted pointedly towards the dark corner opposite them and she raised an eyebrow.

"I'm sure you'll think of someone," Levy said lightly. "I should go collect my boo before he destroys anything else."

As if to punctuate her point, the loud crack of splintering wood reverberated through the hall. Levy got up from her seat with a small sigh and went to tackle Natsu before he could get up from the remains of the table and relaunch himself at Gray. Lucy watched with amusement as her two best friends bickered for a moment before they left the guild hand-in-hand. When she'd first come to Fairy Tail, Lucy had been mildly interested in the boy who would become her best friend, but once she realized the depths of Levy's feelings for him, she'd backed off graciously, and she had never regretted the decision. Particularly since a different dragon slayer had caught her eye since then.

Lucy finished off her smoothie before swaying over to the request board. The alcohol really served a dual purpose now as it took her mind off of being pissed at Natsu and gave her that little fuzziness of consciousness to make her act on her fledgling plan. She actually already had a job in mind, if it was still available. Still, she leisurely looked over the flyers as she tried to summon up the nerve she needed. Finally ready as her slight buzz fully took form, Lucy grabbed the job request and strolled over to Gajeel.

The iron dragon slayer was too lost in thought to notice the blonde now standing in front of him. Lucy cleared her throat a couple of times with no response. She rolled her eyes in frustration before slowly reaching out towards him. She kept expecting him to notice the finger headed towards him, but when he still didn't look up, Lucy lightly touched the tip of her finger to his nose.

"Boop."

Gajeel crossed his eyes to stare at the finger still touching the tip of his nose before looking up to focus on the owner of said finger. He glared at her. It was a look that sent grown men running for their lives, but the celestial mage just winked at him as she retracted her finger.

"Oh good, I've got your attention," Lucy said. Her voice was light and airy, but she sincerely hoped he couldn't hear how wildly her heart was beating in her chest. She waved the flyer at him. "Take this job with me. Please?"

Gajeel just blinked at her for a moment. Lucy sighed and put her free hand on her hip.

"What about your matchstick partner?" Gajeel asked roughly.

"He's… otherwise occupied," Lucy said. Gajeel glanced around the room and finally noticed the absence of both the fire slayer and the script mage. "And I'm still pissed at him for singeing my ass earlier. Besides, I think you're the perfect person to take this job with me."

She thrust the flyer at him, and Gajeel took it reflexively. _100,000 Jewels. Two mages. Locate a site for a new mining operation. Possible bandits in area. Combat experience suggested_. Gajeel glanced back up at Lucy.

"So you want me to be your bloodhound," he said. Lucy stuck out her tongue at him.

"Oh don't be a drama king. Yes, you have the nose for metal that we need, and we both have the combat experience required to deal with anybody stupid enough to attack us."

Gajeel stared back down at his barely touched plate. He heard a giggle from across the hall, and his heart stuttered slightly in his chest. A job like this could easily take a week or more. Time for him to get away from… that. His gaze travelled back to the waiting blonde. He'd never taken a job with Lucy, but he'd heard enough about her skills to know that she wasn't kidding about the combat experience. She was easy to discount as weak with her holder type magic and her fantastically good looks, but he knew firsthand how stubborn and unbreakable she could be. He wouldn't have to worry about protecting her if shit went down.

"When do we leave?" Gajeel asked. Lucy's face lit up with a brilliant smile, and she clapped her hands slightly.

"Tomorrow morning. We'll take the 9 a.m. train to Clover to meet with the businessman who put in the request. I'll go let Mira know so she can contact the client. Thanks, Gaj."

He watched her dart across the hall to talk to the demon barmaid, which naturally led his eyes back to the sight he wanted to escape most. Juvia and Cana were talking excitedly with their hands intertwined on the bar top. He called to Lily that he was leaving before pushing out of the guildhall. The sun was nearly set, and the air was finally cooling off as he trudged home. He wasn't sure why Lucy had suddenly taken an interest in going on a job with him; a small part of him thought Levy might be somehow responsible, but he shook off the thought. He knew that the shrimp would keep his secrets. He also thought there was no way that Lucy would have noticed his interest in a now off-limits individual on her own. That thought just reminded him of Juvia again, and his already somber mood darkened a shade.

Pantherlily flew beside him silently. He knew the pain his friend was silently suffering. He had listened in on the conversation with Lucy, and for once, Lily knew that he was more observant than the slayer. To the exceed, it was obvious why Lucy wanted to get Gajeel away from the guild, and Lily didn't think he could have planned a distraction for the slayer any better. He would help Lucy in any way that he could on this mission, though he knew it wouldn't be easy to get the cantankerous man to open up.


	2. I've Got Your Back

**Chapter 2**

 **I've Got Your Back**

* * *

Lucy tapped her foot impatiently on the train platform as she looked around for her temporary partner. The train whistle blew again announcing the last chance to board before he appeared. Lucy instantly snagged his hand without a greeting and dragged him onto the train just before the final whistle and preliminary lurch of the cars. Gajeel tried to reclaim his hand as she pulled him along the car, but she didn't release him until she found an empty compartment for them to drop into. Lily had followed them in quiet amusement and settled on the seat next to Lucy while Gajeel instantly collapsed face first on the seat opposite them with a groan.

"I told you we should have gotten up early enough to visit Wendy," Lily said with a sigh. Gajeel muttered something into the seat.

Lucy regarded the uncomfortable slayer for a moment before dropping on her knees to the floor next to him. She began rubbing small circles on his back while humming a lullaby her mother used to sing before she died. Lily felt his eyes drooping slightly, but he tried to shake himself awake as Gajeel began snoring loudly. Lucy slowly retracted her hands and returned to sit by the exceed.

"How did you do that?" Lily asked. His voice was laced with mild awe.

"My partner is Natsu," Lucy said with a laugh. "His motion sickness is way worse than Gajeel's. Since Wendy's troia spell stopped working on him, I had to find some other way to help him. I could just knock him out like Erza does, but this works, too."

She and Lily chatted quietly together for the duration of the trip while Gajeel's snores continued to fill the compartment. Lily shook his friend awake as the train came to a stop. Gajeel shot up in his seat and tried to reorient himself. The last thing he really remembered was soft hands on his back and a low humming that helped to push back the nausea.

"What the hell happened?" Gajeel asked. He ran a hand through his long black hair and resituated his bandana.

"Lucy sang you to sleep so you wouldn't puke on everything," Lily said with a smirk.

"Well, hummed him to sleep actually," Lucy said. She picked Lily up and headed out the door without waiting to see if Gajeel would follow. He stumbled out after her and finally began to feel more like himself again as they started walking through the streets of Clover.

He scowled at the back of her head, though he found his eyes drawn more to the sway of her hips, which gradually distracted him from his annoyance. He was so focused on trying not to stare at her ass that he ran into her when she suddenly stopped in front of a large brick house. Lucy nearly tumbled forwards, but Gajeel's arms reached out to catch her before she fell. She dropped Lily in her surprise, and the exceed nearly collided with the cobblestones instead before his wings snapped out to catch himself.

"Warn a guy next time," Gajeel murmured. His breath tickled over her ear, and she shivered at the feeling as well as the husky low quality of his voice. She was intensely aware of the arm still wrapped around her waist, and she had to fight the urge to just sink backwards into his broad chest. Too soon, he released his grip on her. Lucy stepped forward to knock on the door while she pointedly ignored Lily's tiny smirk.

A few hours later, they were deep into the forest north of Clover heading for the "likely location" the client had given them. It was just a hunch based on some old maps, but with Gajeel's nose, they would quickly find out if there was actually anything worth mining. Either way they had a decent reward coming, though they would be receiving a bonus if they actually found a viable deposit for a mining operation.

Gajeel sniffed the air and grinned before picking up the pace slightly. Lucy nearly had to jog to keep up with him. Lily was flying overhead as lookout, but somehow he missed the dark shapes moving through the underbrush. Lucy heard a twig snap to her right, and some instinct sent her hurtling at Gajeel. She tackled him to the ground just as a bolt of fire singed the air where he had been standing before colliding with a tree. Lucy hissed at the pain where a bit of the flame hit her leg. Lucy drew out a key as she pushed up to her feet and Loke appeared at her side. She snapped out her whip with the other hand and lashed out at the fire mage. She counted three attackers before having to focus back on the opponent in front of her.

Gajeel was stunned when he landed on the ground with the blonde on top of him. She'd quickly regained her feet and a man in a suit appeared by her side. He jumped to his feet as Lily rocketed down to him and took on his battleform. There were three mages in front of them; one was trying to get a shot at Lucy who managed to hold him off with her whip while two others were attacking the suited spirit that he now recognized as Loke. Lily leapt forward to help the spirit, but Gajeel turned as he heard a fourth figure approaching. He sent an iron club into the newcomer's stomach as the man tried to sneak up on Lucy from behind.

By the time he'd finished pounding in the face of the fourth mage, the others were also finished dealing with their battles. Lucy's maid spirit appeared to restrain the four, and Lucy asked her to take them back to town and deliver them to the rune knight contingent stationed at Clover. It was only after the spirits disappeared, with the would-be bandits in tow, that Gajeel realized Lucy was still sitting on the ground. He sniffed the air and felt some of his nose hairs curling at the scent of burnt flesh.

Without really thinking about it, Gajeel was kneeling by her side and checking her over.

"Gaj, I'm fine," Lucy said.

"I can smell the burn," he said. Lucy weakly pushed him away and turned slightly so he could see the red gash on her thigh.

"Lucky shot," she whispered. "Nowhere near as hot as Natsu's flames, but still hurts like a bitch."

"Lily, first aid kit," Gajeel said. The exceed dug the box out of his pack and handed it to the iron slayer. Gajeel had barely begun searching for the burn cream and gauze bandages when Lucy's head fell back to the grass as she passed out from the pain.

"Pretty sure she took that hit when he first attacked," Lily said. "I'm amazed she was able to keep fighting for so long."

Gajeel grunted in acknowledgment, but he kept his focus on tending to the blonde's wound. He poured some water from a canteen onto a cloth and gently laid it over the burn in an attempt to draw out some of the heat. Running water would be better, but he hadn't seen so much as a creek in this forest since they entered it. Her maid spirit appeared with Lucy's pack a short time later and began setting up their tents for them at record speed. Gajeel carefully spread a layer of ointment over the nearly 6-inch burn before wrapping a piece of gauze all around her leg as gently as he could. He picked up the petite celestial mage and placed her in one of the tents while Lily got a fire going.

The sun was just beginning to set, and normally they wouldn't have camped so early, but Lucy would need rest if they were going to continue the mission. Gajeel stared at the flames while he gnawed absently at a spoon.

"You know, I was planning on using that to stir the stew," Lily said.

"Oops," Gajeel replied. He shoved the rest of the utensil in his mouth. Lily rolled his eyes and merely continued the dinner preparations. The only sounds came from the breeze in the leaves and a few bugs that were beginning to wake up for the night.

"What's on your mind, Gajeel?" Lily asked as the silence bore down on them. He didn't really expect an answer, but Gajeel surprised him.

"She took a hit for me," the iron slayer said softly. "Didn't even think twice about it. Just knocked me out of the way and got hit in the process."

"She's a very brave women," Lily murmured.

"Yeah," Gajeel said. He leaned back on his hands to stare up at the leaves overhead, and for a moment he wished they had moved to a clearing so maybe he could see some stars. "She's brave alright. Known that since I met her. When I tried to beat her to death for the hell of it."

Lily froze. He'd picked up bits and pieces of how Gajeel came to Fairy Tail from the other guild members, but the man never actually spoke of it himself. This was new territory. The self-loathing was evident in his friend's voice, and Lily wasn't entirely sure how to help him get rid of that.

"We've all done things that we regret," the exceed finally said. "Lucy doesn't hold it against you. You were a different person back then."

"That's what Levy says, too," Gajeel replied. "I still haven't completely forgiven myself for what I did to the shrimp, either, but at least that was following orders. But Lucy… that was… different. I wasn't supposed to hurt her, but I did. Because I wanted to. I wanted to break her. Turns out that's impossible."

Gajeel rose to his feet.

"I'm going to check out the perimeter. Make sure nothing else out there wants a piece of us tonight," he said. He took off into the growing dark before muttering, "Watch out for her, Lily."

A while later, Lily finished the stew and shrank into his normal form to take a bowl into Lucy's tent in the hopes that he could wake her up and get some food into her. He found the blonde staring at the tent ceiling without really seeing it. Lily padded over to her and laid a small paw on her arm. Lucy was startled out of her thoughts, but she offered a smile to the exceed.

"Sorry, I didn't hear you come in."

"No worries, I brought you some stew. I hope you're hungry."

Lucy nodded and sat up stiffly before taking the bowl. Lily went to fetch his own before coming back to join her.

"Thank you for looking out for Gajeel," Lily said.

"It was an instinctual thing," Lucy said with a shrug. "I heard the attack coming and just reacted."

"I don't just mean when we were attacked today," the cat said. "I mean taking him on this job at all. Gajeel's an observant guy usually, but there are some things that he's just oblivious to. I'm a little less blind in this instance."

Lucy blushed and stirred her stew around for a minute.

"Do you think…" Lucy took a deep breath. "Do you think I have a chance?"

"I think you're the only woman who does," Lily said. He reached out and patted her hand reassuringly. "But he won't make it easy."

"He still blames himself for the things he did with Phantom Lord," Lucy murmured. "I heard the two of you talking. I wish he could forgive himself. I forgave him a long time ago. It's like you said, he was a different person back then."

Lily nodded and slurped up some stew.

"We'll just have to convince him of that," Lily said. "I'll do whatever I can to help. I want Gajeel to be happy again. You deserve to be happy, too."

* * *

 **A/N: So, this shows that there are two reviews, but won't actually let me see them. So, thank you to whoever wrote reviews and I'm sorry that I can't actually reply to them. Also I'm really excited by the followers this story already has, so thanks everybody!**


	3. What I Want

**Chapter 3**

 **What I Want**

* * *

Lucy woke up the next morning with Pantherlily cuddled to her chest. The air was chilly and held the scent of dew. Gray light filtered through the tent walls, and Lucy just wanted to nestle back into the sleeping bag and doze off again. She'd never been a fan of getting up at dawn. She shifted slightly as she seriously contemplated just going back to sleep, but the movement jostled her injured leg. Lucy whimpered. Lily's ear twitched at the sound, but he didn't wake up. Lucy slowly sat up with him still held closely before turning to gently lay him on the pillow she had just vacated.

After some more careful maneuvering, she finally got free of the sleeping bag, covered Lily from the cold, and made it outside. A light mist drifted through the woods around them, and Lucy shivered as it touched her bare skin. She still had on yesterday's clothing, which was just a midriff top and miniskirt. She had crawled out of the tent with only minor complaints from her thigh, but when she actually tried to stand, she nearly fell over. Actually, she would have fallen if two arms hadn't wrapped around her and pulled her into a very hard chest.

"Take it easy, Bunny. That's a nasty burn you've got." She felt Gajeel's rough voice rumbling through his chest where her cheek was pressed against him. He slowly pushed her back a bit before picking her up and carrying her to a log by the fire pit. After setting her down, he ducked into his tent and came out with a blanket and the first aid kit. He dropped the blanket over her shoulders before kneeling in front of her. He gently unwound the gauze from her leg, and Lucy hoped he would assume her shivers were from the cool morning and not from the soft brush of his fingertips over her thigh.

Lucy hissed through her teeth as the gauze left her leg, and she saw the damage. Gajeel grunted as he examined the blistering angry red and white patch of skin covering her entire outer thigh. She felt a little silly for being pissed at Natsu the day before for giving her what amounted to a sunburn in comparison to this monstrosity. Gajeel reached for the aloe vera in his first aid kit, but Lucy laid a hand on his shoulder and reached for her keys. She had barely touched the one she wanted before Virgo appeared beside her.

"Virgo, can you bring me some of that burn cream you make?"

"Of course, Princess. I should have thought to bring it last night. You should punish me for my thoughtlessness."

"That's not necessary, Virgo. I should have thought of it, too. Please just bring me the cream."

Lucy couldn't help rolling her eyes slightly when the spirit vanished. Of course, Virgo reappeared almost instantly with the jar of burn ointment before disappearing once more. Lucy opened the jar and prepared to apply it, but one glance at the splotchy blisters on her usually pristine thigh had her gagging. Gajeel lifted the jar from her hands and began spreading a thin coat over her leg.

A cool sensation seeped into her skin where the ointment touched. Lucy sighed with relief, or at least, she intended it to just be a sigh, but somehow it came out as more of a breathy moan that had Gajeel pausing briefly before continuing to cover the burn. Once he was satisfied that he had it all covered, Gajeel wrapped a new piece of gauze around her leg. He didn't intend to linger over it, but he found himself being even more gentle than strictly necessary as he slowly wound the gauze around her thigh. Maybe it was that small moan that had him now hyperaware of his proximity to the blonde. She'd had to spread her legs slightly so he could wrap the gauze around her thigh, and he was suddenly acutely aware of just how close his hand was to a very tempting part of her anatomy.

Lucy's breath hitched slightly as just the smallest edge of his fingertips grazed her upper leg while he wrapped the bandage around her. The touch was just below the hem of her skirt, and given her penchant for tiny clothing, that put him dangerously close to an area that she had only dreamed of him touching. Lucy bit down on her bottom lip, but a small whimper still escaped her.

"Sorry, I was trying to make it not hurt," Gajeel murmured. Lucy was both relieved and disappointed that he misinterpreted her reaction.

"It's okay, the burn cream numbs a lot of the pain," Lucy said. "Thanks for taking care of me, Gaj."

"Least I could do," he said. The iron slayer glanced up into her soft brown eyes for a moment before quickly looking away again. The gratitude in her sincere eyes just made him angrier at his own past actions. He'd spent the night circling the perimeter of the campsite both to act as her guard and to try to clear his head of the old memories. He finished fixing the gauze in place and moved away from her. Lucy wrapped the gray blanket more tightly around her shoulders and leaned towards the small fire.

"We should try to head out early to make up for the time we lost with those morons yesterday," Gajeel said. "No reason to drag this job out longer than necessary."

He handed her a plate of food, but Lucy's already small appetite vanished at his words. She pushed the food around aimlessly. Gajeel scarfed down his breakfast in record time, though he made sure to save some for Lily. He was actually a bit surprised the cat wasn't already up and around, too. He wiped his plate clean and stored it away after a brief moment of wondering if he should just eat it to save space in the pack. Only then did he notice that Lucy still wasn't eating. Gajeel frowned. He leaned over to put a hand on her forehead, and Lucy looked up at him in surprise.

"Thought you might have a fever. Burn that bad can do weird things to a body," Gajeel said. "The pain bad?"

"No, the ointment Virgo brought me numbs the skin," Lucy said. She turned her attention back to the food that she didn't actually feel like eating.

"Then why are you just playing with your food?" Gajeel couldn't think of another reason for the tiny woman to have no appetite. He knew Lily had given her some stew the night before, but the cat said she hadn't eaten much then, either. He frowned again as Lucy laughed humorlessly at his question.

"Too busy thinking about how useless I am," Lucy said. "One burn to the leg, and I'm done. It's my fault we lost time yesterday. If I'd been better, I wouldn't have gotten hit by that surprise attack."

"No, I would have," Gajeel said. He stood up and glared down at her. "Don't go breaking down on me now, Bunny. If you hadn't knocked me out of the way, you wouldn't have gotten hit, but I sure as shit would have. I didn't hear a damn thing until you saved my ass."

Lucy looked down at the ground between her feet. Gajeel cursed under his breath before crouching down and putting a calloused hand under her chin. His grip was firm, but the goal wasn't to hurt her, so he did try to be gentle as he forced her gaze to meet his.

"I wouldn't take a job with someone I thought was useless. So stop the pity party right now. I know you're better than this," Gajeel said. "So what's really got you down? Because I don't buy your current story."

He saw the fear flash through her eyes at his question, and his brow furrowed. The fear disappeared almost instantly, but he knew it had been there. There was something she didn't want him to know, and that made him even more determined to find out what it was. He didn't realize that he was slowly moving closer to her as he studied her expression. He finally noticed as his nose bumped against hers. He just sat there frozen for a moment with his eyes so close to hers that he couldn't even really focus on them properly anymore. Gajeel tried to backpedal, but he overcorrected his balance and fell forward instead.

Lucy let out a startled 'Eep' as he crashed into her, and they both tumbled over the log she'd been sitting on. Her arms came up to grab him so that her back took the brunt of the fall with most of Gajeel's weight on top of her. Their momentum caused them to roll after impact. Since Lucy had unconsciously wrapped her arms around him, she ended up sprawled across his chest when they came to a stop. Gajeel had tried to protect her head as they rolled by gripping the back of her head and pressing her face into his chest as he curled around her.

Gajeel groaned slightly as he could practically feel the new bruises popping up. Luckily they hadn't rolled more than twice or they'd both be needing another day and night to recuperate before resuming the mission. Lucy sat up slowly.

"Gajeel! Why didn't you wake me sooner?" Lily demanded as he stormed from the tent. He stopped suddenly and turned bright red. He rushed back into the tent after calling out, "Sorry to interrupt."

Lucy cocked an eyebrow at the reaction, but then she realized why Lily was so flustered. Somehow, she'd ended up straddling Gajeel with one hand planted on his chest and the other holding onto his hip. Gajeel's hands had fallen to her thighs when Lucy sat up. Her face began to glow as brightly red as Lily's, and an answering blush dusted Gajeel's cheeks so faintly she might have just imagined it. She stammered out an apology and tried to get up, but her wounded leg chose that moment to give up on her. The fall and ensuing roll had pressed the gauze bandage painfully into the burn so that even the ointment wasn't enough to combat the current pain she was in. Lucy's expression twisted into agony, and Gajeel moved his hands to her waist to stop her from moving anymore.

"Stay still," he grumbled. "You'll just make it worse."

Of course the other thing she was going to make worse was the slowly growing hard-on that he was desperately hoping she wouldn't notice; this was a very slim chance given their current position. He didn't really want her to stay in that exact spot, but her wiggling from the pain in her leg was not improving his current embarrassing situation, and it wasn't helping her with the pain, either.

"I need to lie down," Lucy said weakly. Instead of replying, Gajeel simply slid his hands further up her torso to her back and pulled her down on top of him. He managed to slide her body up his a bit in the process. He wasn't sure that this new position was an improvement since now her massive chest was pressed fully against him, but at least she was no longer sitting directly on top of his boner.

"That's not quite what I meant," Lucy murmured. Not that she was genuinely complaining. Gajeel was decidedly more comfortable to lie on than the ground after all.

"Just stay put for a second. Let the pain fade and the dizziness go away." His low voice made her shiver, and he wrapped his arms around her tighter, thinking that she was cold. She needed to distract herself from just how good it felt to be in his arms with his slightly metallic scent surrounding her, especially after she'd felt his unconscious reaction to her being on top of him.

"How do you know so much about burns?" Lucy asked the first thing that popped into her head.

Her face was nestled on his shoulder, so her breath tickled across his neck. Gajeel swallowed convulsively at the feeling. As when he was dressing her wound earlier, he was hyperaware of the beautiful woman lying on top of him. His hands were still on her back, and all he wanted to do was slide them lower to cup her ass to see if it felt as good as it looked. Lucy raised her head slightly to look at him when he didn't answer, and the look helped to snap him out of his wandering thoughts.

"Had quite a few. After… After Phantom Lord was disbanded," Gajeel said. "Learned how to take care of them, and I definitely knew what they felt like. It was nearly a month before they fully healed."

He turned his head to look away from her, and his shirt pulled aside slightly. Lucy frowned as she reached up to tug the collar of his shirt down further. She gasped at the discolored scars over his collar bone. She tried to pull the shirt further, but Gajeel choked as the fabric pulled forcefully against his windpipe. He took one hand off her back to grip her hand and keep her from strangling him with his t-shirt.

"Let it alone," he said.

"But how did you get those?" Lucy stared up at him with wide eyes, and he almost laughed until he realized she seriously wasn't putting two and two together.

"Natsu."

"But, Natsu's fire doesn't leave scars like this," Lucy said. "I should know, I've been hit by stray blasts on numerous occasions."

Gajeel tried to keep up the stoic mask he always wore, but Lucy was pressed close enough to him to notice him flinch. His grip on her hand increased slightly as he thought about whether or not to tell her. He wasn't good at this sort of thing at all.

"Normally, his flames don't scar. If the burns are taken care of properly, and if he wasn't using his full power," Gajeel finally said. "I didn't know how to care for the burns until Makarov found me. By then, having scars was a given."

"Natsu didn't hold back on you at all, did he?" Lucy whispered.

"Nope. I'm glad."

"What? How can you be glad he nearly killed you?" Lucy tried to sit up so she could get a better look at the slayer's face, but he held her to him.

"I deserved it," Gajeel said, but he wouldn't meet her eyes.

Lucy started to ask what he could have possibly done to deserve that kind of pain, but then she remembered the conversation he'd had with Lily. She knew that just telling Gajeel all was forgiven wouldn't help right now. He still blamed himself too much for words to do anything, and Gajeel wasn't really a man of words anyway. Still, she would need to choose her next words carefully to keep him from shutting down. Lucy was amazed at how open he was being as it was, and she didn't want to lose the tenuous connection they seemed to have established.

"You already know how I feel about that particular topic," she said. Her voice was quiet, but then she raised her head and smirked at him. "But if you really think you still need to make up for something that happened years ago, by all means, I'll let you take care of me. Let's start by you getting some more ointment on this leg wound of mine."

Gajeel just looked at her for a moment before nodding. He rolled them both to the side so Lucy was lying on her unwounded leg. He untangled himself from her and went to fetch the first aid kit and the jar of ointment from the fire. As an afterthought, he called out to Lily that he could come out now. The exceed was still blushing slightly when he emerged. Lily grabbed the food Gajeel had left for him and munched on it slowly as he watched the other two. Gajeel silently redressed the burn. He was impressed that the ointment seemed to be healing the burn more quickly as well as numbing the pain.

When he was finished, Lucy summoned Virgo to pack up their campsite, and they were ready to head out again. Lucy walked through the forest just behind Gajeel. She had only a slight limp, which was more from stiffness in the leg than anything. Gajeel stopped every once in a while to sniff the air; sometimes he changed course slightly based on what he smelled. As they traveled, she thought about just how much the iron slayer kept hidden. She knew about his guilt over his actions with Phantom Lord and his pain over Juvia choosing someone else, but what other secrets did he conceal beneath that gruff exterior?

"We're getting close," Gajeel announced after a few hours. A short time later he stopped again with a scowl.

"Something's wrong. There's a lot of different scents mixing with the metal now. It smells like there are already people there. A bunch of them."

"The client didn't mention anyone else taking an interest in the area," Lucy said with a frown.

"He might not have known," Lily offered.

They started forward again only to have the earth disappear beneath their feet. Lily assumed his battleform and flew out of the hole before he could crash to the bottom with the other two.

"Gajeel! We've got a lot of mages up here!" Lily yelled.

"Stay here," Gajeel told Lucy before forming hooks with his hands and scaling the walls of the hole.

Lucy huffed and didn't even consider doing what he'd said. She pulled out Fleuve d'etoiles and snapped the whip out to grab onto a tree branch dangling high above. She used it to pull herself out and swung over to the lip of the hole. Gajeel and Lily were battling dozens of mages. Lucy summoned Scorpio. The spirit sent a wave of sand at their attackers to knock several from their feet. She hadn't taken a proper look at her surroundings, so she didn't see the other mages forming a circle around her and her friends. Scorpio was hit with a blast of ice, and he vanished back to the spirit world as someone grabbed Lucy from behind and restrained her arms. Her keys and whip were torn from her grasp.

Her angry scream distracted Gajeel from his fight so that he just had time to see the man knock Lucy over the head and start off with her unconscious body thrown over his shoulder. Gajeel roared and took off after the man, but he was blocked by more and more mages. He and Lily fought back to back as they tried to break through the ranks, but more just kept coming. Lily went flying into a tree and fell heavily to the ground without getting back up. Gajeel's anger flared again and he released a dragon roar that took out many of the attackers. It wasn't enough. After a few more heated moments of battle, someone got in a lucky shot, and the iron slayer's world went dark.

* * *

 **A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed, faved, and reviewed! Of course, I still can't actually read your reviews because it's still telling me I have them and then pretending they don't exist :( But I really appreciate the attempt, and if the site ever stops being coy, I will definitely be responding!**


	4. Dead Memories

**Chapter 4**

 **Dead Memories**

 _"I'll never survive with dead memories in my heart"_

 _-Slipknot_

* * *

Gajeel awoke to Lily in his smaller form shaking his shoulder roughly. The slayer groaned and sat up. His arms shook as he braced himself, but as his memories of the events just before he passed out came back to him, he found strength in his rage.

"Lucy," Gajeel said as he pushed himself to his feet. He shook off his friend's assistance as he did so. "We've got to get Lucy back."

"We need back up, Gajeel."

"There's no time for that." Gajeel's expression was dark as he started walking forward. It wasn't long before he found the source of the metal smell. He surveyed the mining operation below with a scowl.

"We're both wounded. Getting captured or killed won't help Lucy."

Gajeel flinched. He knew the cat was right, but he couldn't wait. It would take at least a day for any help to arrive from the guild, and Lucy might not have that much time. He was pretty positive that she didn't. His expression hardened again, and Lily sighed as he saw the brief moment of doubt fade away.

"At least let Mira know what's going on so they can come avenge us when we get ourselves killed."

Gajeel grumbled, but he pulled out the communication lacrima to call the guild anyway. Mira's sunny smile greeted him from the tiny orb, but her smile vanished when she saw the blood trickling down his face.

"What happened?"

"Job got a little more complicated than expected. Ran into what looks like a dark guild. They've got Lucy." Gajeel shied away from the rage in the demon's eyes and quickly added, "I'm going in after her, but Lily and I both got pretty roughed up when they took her. Just letting you know in case we fail."

He added their approximate location and shut down the lacrima before Mira could properly respond.

"Happy now?" He asked Lily. The exceed nodded, and they turned their attention back to the scene below.

"We can't go busting in," Gajeel muttered. Lily hummed his agreement. The area swarmed with underlings. Gajeel knew he could take them, but then he'd be tiring by the time he faced the real enemies, and he had no idea how many of those were waiting inside.

"If you can cause a distraction, I can slip through in shadow form," Gajeel said after a moment.

"But that would leave you alone to face whoever is inside," Lily countered. "Not happening."

The iron slayer could tell by Lily's tone that the cat wasn't budging on this one. He raked his fingers through his hair angrily and crawled back from the ledge.

"Let's check for another entrance or a weak point on the other side."

The two slipped silently through the underbrush as they circled wide around the mine. The need for caution was gnawing at Gajeel. He needed to get to Lucy. What if they were beating her as he had so long ago? She wouldn't cave. She'd keep fighting and running that sassy mouth of hers, which would most likely get her killed. He couldn't let that happen. He couldn't live with himself if he let her die.

Gajeel froze as he heard voices just ahead. He motioned for Lily to stay put and crept forward to peek through the bushes.

"Hey, do you smell that?"

"It smells like Gajeel."

Gajeel wasn't sure whether he should groan in exasperation or sigh with relief, so instead, he stepped silently out of the bushes with a scowl and crossed his arms over his chest. Sting and Rogue leapt to their feet with fists at the ready. Both relaxed slightly when they saw that the scent matched their surprise visitor.

"What are you doing here?" Rogue asked.

"Yeah! You better not be trying to take our job. This dark guild is ours," Sting said. He cracked his knuckles for emphasis, and both black-haired slayers gave him a look of disdain.

"We aren't here to take your job," Lily said from the ground. "We were on a different mission when we stumbled upon this guild."

"They the ones that banged you up so bad?" Sting asked. Lily nodded while Gajeel just fidgeted beside him.

"Well, if you want some payback, you can join us tonight when we attack."

"That's not soon enough," Gajeel growled. His hands clenched at his sides. Sting gaped at him, and even Rogue looked mildly surprised. Lily stepped between them.

"What Gajeel means to say is that we don't have that kind of time. We weren't alone on this job."

"They took Bunny," Gajeel barked out. The twin dragon slayers just looked more confused at that. Did Gajeel have a pet?

"He means Lucy," Lily said. He sighed and rubbed a paw over his eyes.

"The hot blonde that uses the same magic as Yukino?" Sting asked. "Man, Natsu said she got kidnapped a lot, but she really is kinda useless, huh?" Rogue mentally groaned at that description, but his interest was piqued by Gajeel's reaction to it. The iron slayer stiffened and his arm turned into a club as he took a step towards Sting. Lily changed into his battleform and blocked his path.

"Take it back, boy. You know nothing about Bunny," Gajeel snarled as he tried to shove Lily out of the way.

"Calm down, Gajeel. The kid doesn't know what he's saying. We need their help to get her back, so calm down."

"Apologize," Rogue murmured to his brother.

"Why would I do that?" Sting asked. He looked genuinely perplexed.

"Because you just insulted his mate, and if you don't apologize, he actually might kill you."

"Insulted my what?" Gajeel asked. He stopped fighting Lily when Rogue's words reached him.

"Her scent is all over you. And it seems obvious from your reaction now and your concern for the woman that she is your mate, Black Steel."

"That ain't it," Gajeel said, but he tasted the lie. It had never occurred to him before Rogue said it, but now that it was out there in the open… Gajeel shook his head forcefully. He'd think about it later. Once she was safe.

"What do you know about this dark guild?" Gajeel asked. They needed to focus on getting her back. Nothing else mattered right now.

"The council sent us a request to shut them down. Apparently the leader is an escaped convict," Sting said.

"It's Jose," Rogue said. Gajeel growled again, and Rogue held up a hand in surrender. "I know. Part of the reason I was requested for this job was because of my former ties to Phantom Lord without being an actual member."

"And why wouldn't they contact me? Or Juvia? We were both S-Class members of that damn guild," Gajeel said with a frown.

"Precisely why they didn't contact you. Once loyal, why not again?" Rogue's face was set in its usual impassive expression, yet he had the almost overwhelming desire to cower in the face of Gajeel's rage at that statement. Lily stepped forward again, ready to intervene if necessary, but Gajeel waved him off.

"Well, it's good that I'm here after all. There's no one alive who knew Jose better than I did back then. And at least it explains why they took Lucy."

"What does she have to do with him?" Sting asked.

"Because she's the reason Phantom Lord fell," Rogue said. "I was there when Natsu destroyed the Jupiter cannon. When Fairy Tail refused to bow down and let Jose take her back to her father."

"How much did you see, Ryos?" Gajeel muttered.

"Enough to know that Sting's earlier estimation of Lucy is completely off base. And enough to know why it is so important to you that we get her back, even if I am wrong about her being your mate. Now, it is time to form a plan."

* * *

Gajeel crouched in some bushes with Rogue near the edge of the clearing around the mineshaft. A few of the underlings were so close that he could reach out and grab them, but Gajeel held back his rage. The white hot anger had been growing throughout their planning session, and he was finding it difficult to focus. All of his instincts were screaming at him to go get the woman now, but he had to wait for Lily and Sting to do their part. Luckily, he didn't have to wait much longer.

An explosion of white light on the opposite side of the clearing sent several underlings flying around to crash into the ground or the mountainside. Lily appeared from the light with a battle cry as he swung his sword at a group that was still standing. Sting showed himself next and started taunting the remaining enemies, drawing all of their attention away from Rogue and Gajeel. Without waiting to see if Rogue was ready, Gajeel slipped into the shadows and dodged along the ground to the open mineshaft. There were a few guards just inside, but their attention was on the battle out in the open, so he ignored them and continued down the tunnel.

He shifted back to his solid form at a fork and sniffed the air. Rogue rematerialized beside him. Gajeel growled softly.

"Too much metal in the air. I can't tell which direction they took her," he muttered.

"We'll split up, then," Rogue said. "Good luck, Gajeel."

Gajeel nodded absently before sprinting down the tunnel to the left. The heavy scent of the iron ore surrounding him threw him off. He encountered a few lackeys as he ran and took them out without really even pausing in his sprint. He came to another fork and growled in frustration. The air was too still down here to get a good scent.

He was about to just pick a tunnel and hope for the best when he heard a scream coming from the one on his right. The anger in his chest leapt up, and he couldn't hold in his snarl. He used the shadows to move faster and faster through the tunnel until he came to a large natural cavern branching off from the manmade tunnel. His body ground to a halt as he took in the scene.

Lucy was suspending from the ceiling by her arms, and she seemed to be unconscious. Her already skimpy clothes were torn in several places, and bruises covered her body. The gauze over her burn had been removed, and it looked like someone had decided to char the area some more. A large welt had formed in the middle of her chest, too. A cackle of demented glee pulled his eyes away from the blonde, and a growl rumbled through his chest at the sight of his former guild master holding a ball of dark energy in his palm.

"Gajeel! So good of you to join us, my boy," Jose said. He smiled widely as Gajeel stalked towards him. "Come to join in the fun? I remember how you so enjoyed playing with her the last time."

Gajeel tensed as the memories assailed him. It was so much worse than his normal recollections of the day. He could feel her soft flesh giving way beneath his iron fists and hear the small grunts of pain that she tried to stifle as she taunted him. The force of the memories felt like they were splitting his head in two, and he grabbed at his head reflexively as he tried to keep his feet. Jose laughed softly.

"How are you doing that?" Gajeel managed to growl.

"Ah, memory magic, courtesy of my new second in command," Jose said. A cloaked figure stepped from the shadows on the opposite side of the room and bowed. "He can make you relive just about anything, even if it didn't actually happen. Pretty neat, isn't it?"

"Get out of my head, you fucker," Gajeel snarled. "And let her go."

"But why? The little former heiress and I were just coming to an understanding." Jose thrust the ball of energy at Lucy's chest and she came awake screaming. The sound clawed at Gajeel's heart even as the memories tried to make him enjoy the sound of her agony. The rage resurfaced, and he felt the pain in his head clearing as the images from the past were burned away in a flash of heat.

"Fuck you," Lucy spat weakly. Gajeel's heart skipped at her words, and he couldn't help the grin that emerged at hearing her still fighting. It was one of the things he loved about her. Jose frowned and prepared another ball of energy, but Gajeel tackled him to the ground before either he or the memory mage could react. Gajeel's iron club pounded into Jose's face over and over until he was sent sailing across the room. The cloaked figure faced him with one hand outstretched, and Gajeel was again assaulted by images and feelings: glee as his iron destroyed the Fairy Tail guild hall, satisfaction as he hung the three fairies from a giant tree. His eyes closed and he sank to his knees as the memories twisted something inside him as he remembered the person he'd been: the monster he was back then.

Just when he thought he couldn't take it, another memory surfaced, one far more recent. Lucy's chest pressed into him as her voice tickled his neck. She smirked as she told him that he could take care of her if he really wanted to make up for the past. Her tone was joking, but he felt the words wrap around his heart as they offered him a chance at salvation. He opened his eyes to glare at the memory mage.

"Looks like you need some more control over your magic," Gajeel muttered. Iron scales formed over his body as he flung himself at the mage. The man reached for something in his cloak, but Gajeel's club struck him before he could get to it. The memory mage went down with a slight whimper, but he stayed down. Gajeel turned his attention back to Jose.

"I had hoped you would rejoin me, but no matter, Gajeel," Jose said. "Even if you manage to take me down now, you've already failed to save her."

Gajeel's eyes flicked to Lucy. She was too still as she hung from the chains. He didn't even see her chest moving. His heart stopped before rage consumed him yet again. Jose never stood a chance. Within seconds, the man was unconscious and bleeding. Gajeel was slightly disappointed that his former master was still breathing, but he'd given up killing when he joined Fairy Tail, and he had more important things to worry about.

He was at Lucy's side in a flash. Gajeel snapped the chains holding her up and held her tightly as he slowly lowered her to the floor. He held his breath as he pressed his ear to her chest, desperately searching for the sound of her heartbeat. He was greeted with silence. Gajeel stared at her in disbelief. He brushed a strand of bloody blonde hair from her face. He didn't notice as he started shaking violently while he clutched her to him. He distantly heard someone saying "no, no, no" over and over, but he was too far outside of himself to realize he was the one repeating the negative. His mind was a fuzzy blank, and it grew darker by the second.

He couldn't have failed. He couldn't have let her die. How was he supposed to make up for the past now? How could he keep living without her bubbly presence in the guild? He remembered thinking just a few days before that he was experiencing heartbreak. He had been wrong. That was the mild disappointment of an unrealistic dream that he never truly wanted. This... this was heartbreak. This was a shattering of his very soul. Something wet dripped onto Lucy's face, and he gently brushed his tears from her cheeks.

Gajeel laid his head on her chest again in one last attempt to hear something that could rescue him from the darkness that was slowly creeping over his mind. His ear met with silence and he could almost feel her body slowly losing its warmth.

He threw his head back and roared.

* * *

 **A/N: I finally figured out how to get review notifications sent to my email, so I will now actually be able to read the things you, dear readers, have to say! Yay!**


	5. Without You

**Chapter 5**

 **Without You**

 _"I can't face the dark without you."_

 _-Breaking Benjamin_

* * *

Lily was barely even breathing heavily by the time the last mage in the clearing fell under his blade. He surveyed the pile of unconscious bodies around him before turning to Sting to suggest heading in to help the other two. Before he could get the words out, he cringed and covered his ears as a crack of thunder resounded through the air and lightning struck the ground a few feet from him. Lily let out a very unwarrior-like squeal and shrank to his normal form to make a smaller target for any other lightning blasts.

"What are you doing here?" Sting's voice pulled Lily out of his terror and he cracked an eye open to see Laxus and Wendy standing where the lightning had struck.

"We're here to get our guildmates back," Laxus said. "What are you doing here?"

"My freaking job, dude," Sting replied. He crossed his arms over his chest and glared at the newcomers. "Gajeel and Rogue are already inside rescuing your spirit chick. You're not needed."

Laxus ignored the Sabertooth leader and headed towards the mineshaft. He hadn't made it more than a few steps before a roar emanated from the opening. Everyone froze as the pure agony in the roar ripped through them.

"What was that?" Wendy asked shakily.

"It sounded like a dragon," Sting whispered.

"Gajeel," Lily muttered. He flew to the cave entrance, but he was knocked back by a massive amount of power. He fell to the ground and looked up to see Gajeel standing in the entrance with Lucy in his arms. Her head lolled, and her arm hung limply down. Lily had seen enough casualties of war to know that limp pose; he felt his heart constrict as tears gathered in his eyes. A dangerous energy swirled around the pair and made the others in the clearing take a step back.

"Gajeel, what the fuck happened?" Laxus said. Gajeel slowly raised his head from where he had been staring down at Lucy. The others flinched at the empty look in his red eyes. He sank to his knees and laid her gently on the ground. He ran his fingers over her cheek before rising slowly back to his feet.

"Dead," he whispered. "I failed."

"No!" Wendy exclaimed. "She can't be dead! Let me see her!"

The small slayer ran towards the pair, but she was blown back as Lily had been when another massive blast of power emanated from Gajeel. She yelled in protest and started forward again, but Laxus dragged her back and pinned her by his side.

"Stay away from him, Wendy," Laxus said. He turned slightly to the side and whispered, "Sting, help me get him away from Lucy so Wendy can check her out."

For once, Sting didn't have any sort of quip or argument. He simply upped his power and launched himself at the iron slayer as Laxus did the same. Gajeel let out an animalistic roar as the two attacked. His skin morphed into steel scales as he threw himself at the other two slayers. Once he was far enough away, Wendy darted forward to Lucy's still form and began searching her with her magic. Her brow furrowed in confusion. Lily watched the fight with wide eyes before deciding it was better if he just joined Wendy.

"Is it true?" Lily murmured.

"No, she's breathing," Wendy said. "She's hurt pretty badly, but she's definitely alive. Gajeel should have been able to hear her heartbeat, so why…?"

"I believe this fool can answer that," Rogue said as he emerged from the tunnel behind them. He flung a semi-conscious man down beside them. The man giggled to himself.

"He remembers her death," he said before another giggle fit overtook him. Rogue kicked him in the side, and the man gasped for breath. "I made him remember holding her lifeless body. It worked even better than I imagined. Now his friends will be forced to kill him, and he'll never know she lived."

He sank into further giggles until Lily morphed into battle form and grabbed onto the front of his cloak and started shaking the dark mage roughly.

"Fix it! Make him remember the truth!" Lily yelled. The man just kept laughing as his head shook from side to side until Lily's rage snapped and the exceed punched him in the face. The dark mage's head lolled back, and Lily shook him once more in frustration before dropping him to the ground. "Dammit!"

"Perhaps seeing Lucy awake would solve the problem," Rogue said quietly. "Wendy, can you wake her up?"

"I'm trying, but the damage is really extensive," Wendy said with a small sob. "They beat her so badly"

Her hands continued glowing blue as she worked at repairing the worst of the blonde's injuries. Tears dripped down her face as she worked. Rogue patted her shoulder awkwardly before standing.

"I'm going to help the others. If she really is his mate, Gajeel won't stop fighting until he's dead or until he's killed everyone in the area. Laxus and Sting might not be enough to hold him off."

He flashed into shadow and streaked towards the trio who were creating craters in the clearing.

* * *

Gajeel was nothing but a vessel for the rage and anguish Lucy's death caused. Something in the back of his mind told him to stop; that he needed to quit fighting. But it was a small voice crying largely unheard in the darkness. He could only feel, and that was the one thing he didn't want to do. So he concentrated on fighting. He knew that the men he was battling could end his misery. The lightning and white light striking him could take away all the pain of his loss, either by killing him or by falling at his hands. He punched and kicked as he willed himself to sink into the instincts of the fight and let the throb of his pain fall away. It wasn't working. He could still feel the sadness pouring through his veins and hear the keening of his inner voice at losing the woman he hadn't had the chance to be with. So he fought harder. He pushed himself to greater exertion without caring how much magic he used.

"Gajeel, snap out of it, moron," Laxus snarled as he caught hold of Gajeel's fist.

The iron slayer ripped his hand free with a snarl of his own and merely attacked again. Laxus dodged away, and Sting jumped in with a kick at Gajeel's ribs. The kick connected, but Gajeel didn't even register the pain. His emotions were too tangled for something physical to break through to his consciousness.

"Dude, there's no way she's dead, so cut it out," Sting yelled.

Their words washed over him without making any greater impact than their fists. All he could hear was Lucy taunting Jose before her final scream. He heard the man laughing and telling Gajeel that he had failed. He let out another gut-wrenching roar as the sounds bore down on him, and he lashed out more fiercely at the opponents he could barely see through the dark veil over his mind.

"Gajeel, listen to us, she's not dead," Rogue said as he joined the fray. "Wendy is healing her now. It was a false memory. Lucy's alive!"

The words buzzed through his brain, but they couldn't find any purchase. He _knew_ she was gone. An image of Lucy's brilliant smile when he said he'd take the job with her floated through his mind. He cried out again just as a kick landed on his back, and he fell to the dust. His hands scrabbled at the dirt, but he couldn't find the will to get up again. He remembered her soft hands rubbing over his back as she hummed him to sleep. He remembered countless days of watching her in the guild as she giggled over a book with Levy and wishing there was a way he could apologize for what he'd done to her. _I'll let you take care of me._ Her light voice drifted through his mind. It was like he'd had a golden opportunity to make up for the past and move into a future without having to avoid her, to maybe even be close to her, and he'd fucked it up. He'd failed her. He vaguely sensed the three slayers standing around him, but the fight in him was gone.

"Finish me," he muttered. "Just fucking do it."

"Not a chance, metal head," Laxus said. He stooped down and grabbed Gajeel's head to turn his face to the side. "Look."

Gajeel blinked as he tried to make sense of what he was seeing. Lily was walking towards him supporting a blonde woman. She limped heavily, but she slowly made her way over with the help of the giant exceed. Gajeel felt a tiny spark of hope in his chest, but the darkness forced it back. It couldn't be Lucy. She was dead. He'd held her lifeless body in his arms, and he knew she was gone. Even Wendy's healing couldn't bring back the dead. Lily and the blonde finally made it to him, and the exceed helped her sink slowly to the ground where she reached out to touch his cheek.

"Gaj, I'm okay," she whispered. "You saved me."

Gajeel pushed up on his arms cautiously and leaned in so he could smell her. When the scent of honey and sunlight hit his nose, he knew it wasn't a dream or a fake. He nearly fell over in his haste to draw her to him as he buried his nose in her hair and bit back a sob. She whispered softly to him before beginning to hum the song from the train.

"I thought I failed you, Bunny," he finally managed to say.

"You'll never fail me, Gaj. I know you won't," Lucy said before resuming her humming. Exhaustion and relief settled into his very bones, and he let the soft hum of the lullaby send him to sleep.

* * *

 **A/N: I do have more planned for this, but updates will probably be a lot less frequent. Like maybe one per week instead of one per day. And the reviews are back up! Huzzah! Thanks so much to gategirl7, dolphintale204, , westerngoddess, infinitelypanda, MistressAva, HimePurpleHawk, and leoslady4ever for reviewing :D**


	6. A Nightmare to Remember

**Chapter 6**

 **A Nightmare to Remember**

 _"Life was so simple then; we were so innocent,  
It will stay with us forever; a nightmare to remember"_

 _-Dream Theater_

* * *

Gajeel woke up with his fists tangled in the sheets and sweat drenching his body for the fourth time that night. Like all the others, it took him several moments to recall that Lucy was in fact alive. He clutched his chest where his heart was still screaming from the dream of holding her lifeless in his arms. He wrapped both his hands in his hair and let out a muffled roar. Lily appeared in the doorway and walked cautiously to the bed.

"Gajeel?"

"I'm fine," Gajeel said roughly. He threw the tangled sheets off of him and stood up. He nearly lost his balance in his haste to escape the accursed bed.

"You're not fine," Lily said as he followed Gajeel into the hallway. "You've been waking up like this every night. You haven't slept more than an hour at a time for the past week."

"I said I'm fine. Now drop it," Gajeel growled. He yanked the front door open and stepped into the dark.

"Where are you going?" Lily called after him.

"For a walk. Dammit."

"In your boxers?"

Gajeel didn't bother replying. He half-expected the exceed to follow him, but for once Lily left him alone. He knew the cat meant well, but he was getting damned tired of his friend following him around with that worried expression. The iron slayer knew that he wasn't dealing with any of this well. Hell, he wasn't dealing with it at all. He was just shoving down the pain when he was awake and clawing his way out of the nightmares when he tried to sleep. He'd gotten to the point of staying awake until his eyes would no longer stay open in the hopes that he would be exhausted enough not to dream; it wasn't working.

He trudged through the empty streets trying not to think about anything. Especially not about what happened with Jose and the memory mage. The cobblestones were slick beneath his bare feet from a recent rain; he could still smell it on the breeze. He shivered a little and wondered if he should've grabbed some clothes before leaving, but that thought just reminded him of Lily's concerned face, which just led him back to the dreams.

The cat had been trying to get him to talk to the celestial mage since they'd returned a week ago. Gajeel avoided her as much as possible. Laxus was on his case about it, too. Once the lightning fuck had told her team what happened, Natsu in particular had been adamant that he needed to handle things. That just led to Gajeel and Natsu nearly destroying the guild with their fighting. Everyone was either treating him as if he'd shatter like a glass figurine at any moment or as if he needed to man up and talk to the blonde about what had happened.

Actually, the only person not hounding him was Lucy. She'd tried to seek him out the first couple of days, but she figured out quickly that he wanted to be left alone. He didn't like to admit that it hurt a little that she'd stopped trying, even though it was also a relief. He was just too tangled up in his thoughts about her.

Without realizing it, his feet carried him to the canal where he found himself staring up at the window of an apartment building. This happened every night. The dreams would wake him up in a cold sweat, he'd wandered through the town, and he'd eventually wind up here. He had to see her. He had to assure himself that she was still alive and safe, even if he couldn't actually be with her.

Gajeel scaled the side of the building and balanced on his toes on her windowsill. The window was open tonight despite the earlier rain. Lucy wasn't in the room, which he found concerning until he noticed the closed bathroom door with light spilling through the crack. He started to jump back to the street, but then he heard voices. He didn't want to eavesdrop, but the sound of a man in Lucy's bathroom pissed him off. He fought down the anger; he had no right to care what she did or who she did it with. He'd recovered enough to leave, but then he heard his name, and he couldn't turn away.

* * *

Lucy sat in the lukewarm water of the tub with her knees drawn up to her chest. The water had been scalding hot when she first stepped in, but that had been hours ago. She shivered a little, but she didn't want to move. The only thing left to do was go to bed, and the dreams she'd been having awaited her there. She didn't want that. A tear slipped down her cheek, and she jerked back, hitting her head on the wall, when someone brushed it away. She rubbed at the sore spot on her head and turned to glare at the intruder with a Lucy Kick all charged up, but she stopped when she saw her spirit's worried expression.

"What are you doing here, Loke?" She whispered. She drew her knees in tighter to her chest.

"We can feel your distress without you even being near the keys," Loke said. Lucy knew that her emotions must be even more out of whack than she'd thought for that to happen. Add in the fact that Loke had dropped his usual flirtations, and things were really looking grim.

"I'm fine," Lucy said. "Hand me my robe?"

He grabbed the item from the stool near the tub and held it out to her before turning his back. She wrapped it around her and stepped out, but she nearly fell as her legs had fallen asleep while she'd been in there. Loke spun to grab her. He lowered them both gently to the floor. Lucy leaned back against the edge of the tub and began thumping at her legs with her fist to get some circulation going again.

"Want to talk?" Loke asked.

"What's there to talk about?" Lucy replied, but her voice cracked. She dipped her head to hide the fresh tears threatening to spill.

"Whatever you want to talk about."

Lucy considered the offer. She knew that she really should talk to someone. Laxus had filled her in on the things she'd missed while unconscious. Levy and Natsu had both tried to get her to talk about what had happened on the mission. But the only person Lucy really wanted to talk to about it was Gajeel, and that had failed miserably. She didn't understand. He'd wanted to off himself when he thought she was dead, but now that she was okay, he avoided her like he was deathly allergic. Lucy whimpered, and Loke pulled her in for a one-armed hug.

"How did things go so wrong?" Lucy whispered. "I just wanted to take Gajeel on the mission so he could forget Juvia and maybe start thinking about me, but then Jose came along and screwed everything up. I just want to talk to him. No, that's not true; I've never wanted to just talk to Gajeel. I want to be with him. I want him to hold me so I feel safe again."

The tears burst forth in earnest, and Loke had trouble making out her next words.

"I just want to tell him that I love him, and I want to know that he loves me, too. I mean, I know he doesn't, but I thought maybe he could. Someday. I thought on this mission we could start towards that. Now it's all wrong!"

Her face pressed into Loke's chest, and he just held her as she sobbed. His ear twitched as he thought he heard something from the main room, but he stayed in place. Natsu had a habit of coming to check on the blonde in the middle of the night, so maybe it was him coming by to do that. Lucy did have an awful habit of leaving the window open.

Lucy finally cried herself to sleep, and her lion carried her to bed where he tucked her in with a kiss on the forehead. He picked her keys up from the nightstand and placed the ring in her hand before disappearing into the spirit world. Lucy unconsciously clutched the keys to her like a stuffed animal.

* * *

Gajeel dropped from the window before Lucy and the lion came out of the bathroom. His mind had been in disarray before, but now he wasn't sure what he was thinking, let alone what he was feeling. He lumbered through the streets of Magnolia without thinking about where he was going, but he somehow made it home as the sky turned gray with the coming dawn. Lily was passed out in the armchair by the door. Gajeel threw himself facedown on the couch next to him. he idly wondered if he could just smother himself while waiting for the cat to wake up. No, that was the coward's way out.

He turned his head to stare at the wall as the light from the living room window slowly grew and Lily's soft snores filled the room. For once, his mind was a perfect blank. It was like he'd finally hit his emotional limit, and he just couldn't feel or think anything else for now. Of course, then Lily woke up with a start. The exceed leapt to his feet in his battleform yelling "Gajeel!" before heading for the door.

"I'm over here," Gajeel called. Lily turned back to him with a surprised look that quickly turned into a frown.

"What were you doing, you idiot?" Lily practically yelled as he towered over his friend.

"Thinking," Gajeel said.

"That would be a first," Lily said. He sighed and crossed his arms. "So just what were you thinking about?"

"Bunny."

"And?"

"And what?"

"And what else?" Lily asked. He shrank into his normal form and climbed up on the arm of the couch by Gajeel's head. He was becoming exasperated with the slayer. "Clearly something has changed or you'd just be telling me to leave you alone."

Gajeel grimaced. He knew the cat was right. Gajeel pushed up to sit cross-legged on the couch where he proceeded to stare at his hands for several minutes before replying.

"I'm an idiot."

Lily had a reply for that, but he decided to just let the slayer continue at his own pace.

"I heard Bunny talking to one of her spirits. I… I thought I was doing her a favor by staying away from her. Turns out, I'm not."

Lily had to literally bite his tongue at that one to keep from going off on his friend.

"I don't want her hurting. But now I don't know what to do."

"Have you thought about just talking to her?" Lily asked.

"It ain't that simple, cat," Gajeel said. "I gotta do more than just talk to her. I need to show her…"

"Show her?" Lily prompted as the slayer trailed off.

"How I feel," Gajeel said. He felt lame as the words came out of his mouth, but it was the truth. "I'm no good at talking things out. I can't just tell her. Words aren't good enough for the way I've screwed things up."

Lily rubbed a paw over his chin thoughtfully before hopping up. He pointed an authoritative paw at Gajeel.

"Put some clothes on. We're going to see Levy."

* * *

 **A/N: Thanks to HimePurpleHawk, fairytailgurl808, Nymph04, MistressAva, and leoslady4ever for reviewing! Turns out inspiration struck sooner than expected after all. Of course, Gajeel couldn't make this easy and just talk to Lucy. His exact reasons will be in the next chapter. Thanks for following along with this story!**


	7. Persuasion

**Chapter 7**

 **Persuasion**

 _"I hate to hear you talk about all women as if they were fine ladies instead of rational creatures.  
_ _None of us want to be in calm waters all our lives."_

 _-_ Jane Austen _, Persuasion_

* * *

"I don't know that I'm up for a girls' night. I'm really tired," Lucy said.

"Come on, Lu! It's exactly what you need," Levy pleaded. She gripped Lucy's hand tightly. "It's been too long since we had a slumber party."

Lucy desperately wanted to say no. She just wanted to huddle on her couch with a glass of wine and a trashy romance novel or three. She knew her friends were worried about her rather anti-social tendencies since her near-death experience, but she also knew that they couldn't help her with the one thing that would actually ease her current tension. Lucy's eyes involuntarily drifted from her blue-haired friend to a dark corner of the guild. The table was empty. She wasn't terribly surprised. Gajeel had gotten into the habit of vacating the guild hall as soon as Lucy entered, and she hadn't seen him at all for a few days now. Her eyes drifted back to Levy, and she nodded.

"Let's do it."

The bookworm's squeal of excitement brought a genuine smile to Lucy's face. Levy immediately turned to face the guild hall and yelled for the girls to assemble at Fairy Hills on the double. Lucy laughed as Levy and Erza dragged her through the streets and up the hill to the girls' dormitory. Levy halted abruptly at the gate. She told Erza and the others to go ahead and get everything ready for an epic slumber party. Levy entwined her fingers with Lucy's, and the two walked more slowly up the hill.

"Hang on a second," Lucy said as she spotted something glinting on a branch of the tree in front of the building.

She pulled Levy along with her as she went to investigate. The setting sun had hit the object just right, and Lucy had to blink a bit against the gleam as she stood on her tiptoes to examine it further. It was a silver chain, only a few inches long, dangling from a lower branch just within reach. Lucy lifted it down and wondered how it could have gotten there. She wasn't an expert in metal work, but she had spent enough time looking at her mother's jewelry when she was young to know quality work when she saw it. The chain was light and fine, but she had a feeling it would be nearly impossible to break.

A tiny scrap of paper clung to the bracelet, and Lucy unrolled it to find a quote from one of her favorite novels. _I can listen no longer in silence. I must speak to you by such means as are within my reach._

"I wonder how it could've ended up in the tree," Lucy mused. "And why the Austen quote?"

"Who knows," Levy shrugged. "It's pretty, though. You should keep it."

"Hmm," Lucy murmured. She put it in her key pouch. She figured she'd ask the other girls about it; maybe it had fallen out of a window or been stolen by a bird. Stranger things had happened after all, though she did have the feeling that the chain had been placed there. She followed Levy into the dorm and promptly forgot about the strange bracelet as Cana thrust a glass of wine into her hands and Mira suggested a game of truth or dare.

By the time she fell asleep nestled between Levy and Wendy, Lucy was beyond pleased that she had let the bookworm talk her into a girls' night. No matter what happened with her love life, she would always have her friends and her family. Still, it would be nice if a certain dragon slayer would actually talk to her…

Lucy stumbled into her apartment the next morning hungover but happy. She walked through the kitchen/dining area towards the bathroom, but she had to backtrack when she noticed that something was amiss. Even with her head slightly fuzzy from the previous night's festivity, she knew something was different about her apartment. She looked around intently as she tried to figure out what was off. Finally, she realized that her dining room table should have been bare, but sitting directly in the center was a small neatly wrapped package. A satin black bow was fixed around shimmering gold paper.

She just blinked at it for a moment before carefully moving forward to prod the box with a cautious finger. It sat there motionless like boxes are supposed to, and when she poked it, she could tell that it wasn't a hallucination. Lucy picked up the gift and tried to think who could have left it there. Deciding she wasn't going to get anywhere by just staring at it, Lucy carefully untied the black bow and removed the paper to reveal a small jewelry box. A silver charm in the shape of an elegant key rested on the velvet interior. A tiny scrap of paper was tucked beneath the charm.

 _You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope._

Her breath caught in her throat at the continuation from the quote attached to the chain she'd found on the tree. She pulled the chain from her key pouch. The key charm clipped easily onto it. Her heart beat a little faster as she tried to stem the rising hope. He couldn't be leaving these for her. For one thing, there was no way the slayer had actually read _Persuasion_ , right?

Lucy shook her head firmly and headed for the shower. She had to talk to him. Whether or not he was behind the bracelet and the charm or not, she couldn't keep going on like this. But first, she needed a shower and like at least a gallon of water. Possibly a nap. She really needed to stop letting Cana talk her into drinking games.

A few hours later, Lucy finally made it to the guild. She scanned the guild hall as soon as she entered, but there was no sign of her target. Either he was on a mission or the gifts really weren't from him and he was still avoiding her. Lucy sighed and headed to her usual place at the bar. Mira put a smoothie in front of her without waiting for the blonde to order. Lucy sipped at it and tried to be discreet about staring at the guild doors.

"He took a mission earlier today," Mira said helpfully. "I'm not sure if he'll be back this evening or not."

Lucy groaned. She took another sip of her drink as she turned back to the bar. She nearly choked on the mouthful of smoothie as she found another gold and black package sitting in front of her. The demon barmaid had disappeared, but Lucy knew she had to be the one who'd put it there. She decided she could interrogate her later as she quickly tore into the paper around another jewelry box. This time the charm was a heavily detailed dragon. _Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone forever._

The celestial mage leapt up from her barstool with the note and the charm clutched in her hand. Her eyes latched onto the movement of the guild doors opening. Her heart dropped for a moment when it wasn't him, but the person who appeared was almost as good.

"Levy!" Lucy called out as she dashed across the hall to grip her friend's hand in hers while displaying the charms in the other. "Where is he?"

Levy looked taken aback for moment, but then she smiled softly.

"Here," was all she said before shoving another box, this one unwrapped, into the blonde's hand. Levy gently detached herself from Lucy's grip and made her way over to where Natsu was stuffing his face on the other side of the hall. Lucy didn't watch her go; she was too busy fumbling to open the box.

An anatomical heart, worked in silver like the others, rested on the velvet lining. A slightly larger square of paper lay beneath it. For once, the quote deviated from its original lines: _I offer myself to you with a heart even more your own than when it shattered at your seeming death. Unjust I have been, weak and resentful, but never inconstant or indifferent._

On the back, in slightly less tidy script than the quotations had been, were words that sent Lucy flying out of the guild doors: _Got us a job in Clover. Meet ya there._

* * *

 ** _A/N:_ Thanks to , westerngoddess, leoslady4ever, Ashtan.87, and the guest for reviewing! And holy cow so many followers. Yay! Thanks everybody :D Next chapter is already mostly written, too. Gaj and Lucy are finally going to settle some things!**


	8. What I've Done

**Chapter 8**

 **What I've Done**

 _"Today this ends  
I'm forgiving what I've done"_

 _-_ Linkin Park, "What I've Done"

* * *

Lucy barely managed to catch the next train to Clover. She hadn't even stopped by her apartment to collect anything so she had only her key pouch and whip with her. Lucy placed the two new charms on the bracelet and played with them absently as she watched the scenery pass. Not nearly soon enough for her, the train finally made it. She leapt up and made it to the solid ground of the station before realizing that she had no idea where to go next.

"Lucy!"

The blonde whipped her head to the right as she heard her name, and she smiled widely as Pantherlily dropped down for a hug. After squeezing him tightly, Lucy held the Exceed out in front of her so she could look at him.

"Okay, Lily, what's going on?" Lucy asked in what she hoped was a stern tone. The Exceed smiled at her, but he shook his head.

"All I can tell you at the moment is that Gajeel took a job building a statue to commemorate the new mining operation. Apparently it's going to do wonders for the town's economy so the mayor is throwing a bit of a celebration. Come on."

Lily slipped out of her grip and flew behind Lucy to grab onto her back before lifting into the air. He flew them both over the town buildings to a small square to the east which was crowded with people. There was a large object in the center where a fountain would normally go; it was covered in a beige tarp. Lily set Lucy down towards the front of the crowd and settled on Lucy's shoulder. A small man in a suit, who Lucy assumed must be the mayor, stood next to her former client in front of the tarp. Lucy let her eyes roam over the crowd as the mayor gave a short speech about the coming economic boom. She didn't see the distinctive spiked hair of the iron dragon slayer anywhere.

"So, without further ado, here is the statue, created by one of the mages responsible for our good fortune, which will grace this square henceforth!" As the mayor concluded, workers behind the statue pulled back the tarp. Lucy's hand drifted to cover her mouth as she took in the sight.

A giant dragon, fashioned from the metal found at the mine, huddled protectively over a bunny resting between its forelegs. Though the work was far larger and even more detailed, Lucy recognized the artistry from the charms on her wrist. The statue gleamed in the late afternoon sunlight. The crowd clapped politely before dispersing to continue their day, but Lucy stayed transfixed. She was so caught up in trying to remember each detail of the piece that she didn't notice Lily leaving her shoulder.

"Do you like it?"

Lucy whipped around to find the slayer who had been so carefully avoiding her finally standing in front of her.

"It's beautiful," she whispered. His red eyes met hers, and she was as captivated by his gaze as she had been by the metal dragon moments before, but she couldn't read his expression. She fought the urge to tackle him until she figured out what he was thinking.

Gajeel felt as though he just jumped from a high building and wasn't sure if he could survive the fall or not. He'd put everything into those charms on her wrist and the statue behind her, but he didn't know if it was enough. He doubted it was. But he didn't know how else to show her his fierce need to claim and protect her despite his deep-seated belief that he had no right to do either of those things. His eyes dropped to the bracelet at her wrist as she fiddled with the charms. He liked seeing his metalwork on her arm, and that scared him. Before he could talk himself out of it, he held out his hand to her.

"Come on. There's something else I want to show you," he said. Lucy placed her hand in his, and he marveled that she hadn't shown the slightest hesitation. He didn't deserve that level of trust for many reasons. Still, he entwined his fingers with hers and led her through the town to the forest. They hiked in silence through the woods for a while before Gajeel stopped and turned to her.

"It'll be quicker if we move through the shadows," he said.

Lucy nodded and moved forwards to wrap her arms around his waist as she tucked her head against his chest. His arms wrapped around her back, and she felt the tingle of magic as her body became nearly weightless. Throughout the brief trip, she felt Gajeel pressed firmly against her. Even when they came to a stop, she wasn't ready to let go. She wanted this for just a little longer; something deep within her whispered "safe" while she was huddled in his embrace. Finally, she drew back. She was surprised that Gajeel hadn't made the first move away from her, but he didn't even comment on the extended hug. He just held out his hand again and spun her around so she could take in the view.

He had brought her to the foothills surrounding the mountain. From their vantage point at the top of one of the hills, she could see the forest stretching out for miles with the sun just beginning to sink below the horizon as it painted the treetops in red and gold. Lucy took a deep breath of the fresh forest air, which immediately left her in a whoosh as Gajeel pulled her to the ground. He had propped his back against a tree, and Lucy found herself sitting in between his legs with her back against his chest. He didn't hold her there, so she could move away if she wanted, but Lucy definitely did not want to. As she settled against him, his arms came to wrap around her. He held another of the jewelry boxes in his right hand.

Lucy opened it to find a silver bunny; it was a miniature version of the one from the statue. Lucy clipped it with the others at her wrist before leaning her head back against Gajeel's shoulder. She held up her arm so she could look at them all shimmering in the light of the sunset while her other hand rested on Gajeel's arm around her waist.

"I'm sorry, Bunny," Gajeel whispered. She shivered at the breath on her ear, but she turned slightly so she could look up at him.

"It's okay," she said. "Well, okay, it's not okay."

"No, it's not," Gajeel agreed. He glanced down at her before returning his gaze to the sunbathed trees. "The past two weeks were bad enough, but nothing I've done since I met you has been okay."

"Gaj, I already told you—," Lucy started to say, but Gajeel cut her off by placing one of his hands on her lips.

"Just let me get it out, Lucy," he said. "I'm bad enough at this as it is. That's why I wanted to give you the bracelet and the statue. Levy suggested the quotes since I'm so bad with words. But I know it's not enough to make you understand on its own."

Gajeel sighed. His fingers lingered at Lucy's lips for a moment longer before dropping down to her waist again.

"The hardest part was figuring out where to start. There's so many reasons you shouldn't want me."

Lucy started to protest again, but he fixed a red glare on her, and she stopped.

"Phantom Lord's the obvious one. Both hurting you and hurting your best friend. And I know you already forgave me for that. Ain't the point. It's still there for me. Always will be. But that's not it."

He shifted behind her. She was trying to concentrate on his words, but it was difficult being so close to him. Even before he started completely avoiding her, being held by Gajeel like this was just a fantasy. He'd been too wrapped up in Juvia to give her a second glance. At least, she had assumed he hadn't noticed her.

"It started when Jose sent me after you," he murmured. "I told the others I was beating you because I was bored of waiting. Wasn't it, though. I felt it as soon as I saw you; I knew you could be the one, and it pissed me off."

Lucy's brow furrowed in confusion as she turned to face the nearly vanished sun. He'd lost her somewhere in his attempt at an explanation. Gajeel sensed the tension that appeared in her body, and he knew he was fucking it up again. He hooked an arm under her legs and swung her around so she was sitting sideways in his lap where he could actually see her face.

"How much do you know about dragon slayer mates?" Gajeel asked.

"Just that the slayers are fiercely protective of them," Lucy said. Rogue had told her about his suspicions, but she didn't really believe it at the time.

"It's a weird situation," Gajeel said. "There's some choice involved, but Metallicana told me there are only a handful of people you meet in life that will fit the bill. Something inside of them just calls to the slayer part. I'd never met somebody that did that to me. Until you. That's why I was angry."

"I still don't understand," Lucy said. Gajeel groaned.

"There's no way for me to say this without making you mad, but I got to get it all out there. I want you to understand me, and that's something I've never wanted from another person before." Gajeel was agitated, but he managed to keep eye contact with her as he continued. "You were weak. A scared little bunny rabbit being protected by her guild. A rich princess who ran away from home. There shouldn't have been anything to make me want you, but my magic said there was."

"So you lashed out at me to prove your magic wrong," Lucy whispered. Her chin dropped to her chest. The sadness in her voice twisted Gajeel's heart, and he pulled her closer as he curved his body more around her.

"Yes. But turns out, you just proved it right. You fought me. Not physically, but you were still fighting. That's when I chose you. Didn't even realize it at the time. From that day on there was no one for me but you, but I still fought it. Denied it."

"So, Juvia?" Lucy asked. She risked a glimpse at Gajeel's face, and her heart clenched at the pained look she found there. She ducked her head again.

"That ain't what you think, either," Gajeel said. He moved his arm from under her legs to bring a finger to her chin. Once she was looking at him again, he said, "I wanted to believe there was something there. Mostly because I knew I didn't deserve you. I'm still not sure that I do, but there wasn't anything between me and Juvia. Not really. I realized it when—."

He broke off abruptly, and by the hard set of his jaw, Lucy knew he was thinking of their mission together. She brought a hand up to his cheek and smiled.

"Thank you for telling me all of this," she whispered. As she stared up into his eyes, she saw the pain and regret he still harbored, and she wanted nothing more than to remove that look. She wanted to show him that deserving her or not had nothing to do with her feelings for him. She used the hand on his cheek to guide his lips to hers. She tried to pour all of her feelings for him into the kiss: The safety she felt in his arms, the warmth in her chest when she saw him, the forgiveness she'd been harboring for so long. When she finally pulled back for air, she smiled at the slightly dazed look on his face. She gently traced over the piercings on his face with her fingertips, and he closed his eyes with a sigh of contentment.

Things weren't perfectly tied off with a pretty bow like the packages he had left for her, but it was a start. She had a chance to really be with him now, and that was really all she had been hoping for to begin with. There were still many things that she didn't know, but she felt confident that he wouldn't just run away from her again. She laced her fingers with his as Gajeel opened his eyes again. They both turned to look at the sky, which was now coated in stars. She felt the pulse in his wrist where their arms were pressed together, and it slowly fell into rhythm with hers, or perhaps hers fell in with his. She breathed in the night air with the slight metallic musk of the man she'd loved for so long with so little hope of having the affection returned. She sighed happily and nuzzled closer to him.

It wasn't perfect, but it was pretty damned close.

* * *

 **A/N: I'm going to go ahead and mark this as complete, though I may include an epilogue to fill in any blanks left by this chapter. Let me know if there's something in particular you'd like to see!**

 **Thanks to everyone who's followed and faved. And thanks to Marsfish, MistressAva, HimePurpleHawk, jj, and Merble for reviewing the last chapter. You all seriously make me smile :D**


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